Mark 14:32-42 - Jesus, Trauma, Irrational Fears, and PTSD

I realize that I am skipping far ahead in Mark with this blog post from where I last left off, but I felt compelled to share a thought that God has been teaching me the past few weeks.
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MY EXPERIENCE WITH PTSD

Earlier this month (August 3rd), I went through a very traumatic event involving the finding of the body of a friend who had shot himself. I didn't actually see the body, but I heard the screams of his best friend who found him, (Please keep praying for him. He is very strong, but please keep praying for him.) and just knowing the guy's body had been there all day, just feet away from where I'd been working all day--a lot of it by myself--was enough to give me some really frustrating symptoms on top of the normal grieving process that occurs when someone dies.

For two days after, I couldn't stop shaking. For the first week, I didn't even recognize my own face in a mirror. It was an event that caused me to keep my back against walls--constantly looking out my periphery. It caused me to jump at the least little sound. It affected my sleep as the tragedy tended to replay itself in the morning just before I woke up and assured that I couldn't go back to sleep. It made me scared to be alone, when I, a true introvert, derive a huge amount of pleasure and joy from being by myself--which then adds frustration to the mix. It has made me uneasy to enter my place of work, my church, because that is where the event happened. I actually wanted to break down and cry when I thought of going into that building by myself for the first three weeks.

Apparently, these are symptoms of PTSD.

I guess I've lived an incredibly sheltered life, because I had no idea how life-altering the effects of trauma could be. They certainly don't show those sorts of things in the movies.

I am happy to report that most of these symptoms are much less intense than they were four weeks ago when the event happened. The last symptom has been my sleep, because that is the hardest one to consciously control. Last night was the first night in four weeks that I've gotten eight hours, for instance.

I wrote this paragraph three weeks after the event (when I first started writing this post):

"Here is the thing. I don't break down and cry. I do stand with my back open to space. I do sit by myself alone--I am right now, in fact. I don't allow it to paralyze me, and I am no longer shaking with fear. However, I do all these things now with the knowledge that I have to choose to be strong, whereas before I had done them without even thinking. I know that God is in control, but now I have to make the actual choice to believe that God is in control and act accordingly. I knew it before. Now I have to choose it."

It is really weird to have to choose consciously that God is in control with every step and move. It's exhausting, and when you aren't getting enough sleep already, it's doubly exhausting. I am happy to report that it is getting better, though! I know that my emotional state is coming more into balance as time is passing, but I know for sure that the majority of my "issues" have dissipated because people have been praying for me. I know that they have because the paralyzing part of the fear is completely gone. After the first week, my pastor's wife prayed over me, and the next day, I actually tried to feel scared, just to see if the fear was there, and it wasn't. It was gone. The weird voices in my head that started telling me to doubt everything and that everything is hopeless were gone. Those sorts of things only go away by prayer.

You can hide them by ignoring them or with wishful thinking, but they don't actually go away without prayer.

When this event happened, I knew myself. And more than that, God knew me. He knew that if I were left alone to deal with this and never asked prayer, I could go to a very dark place very quickly. God really helped me because I hate bothering people for prayer--which is stupid to hate, granted--but He directed me to reach out to so many friends and family members.

If you are one of those people, thank you so much.
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LESSONS LEARNED

I learned some valuable lessons through this that may help you if you are in a traumatic situation.

First of all, you need to talk to people right away.

Secondly, if the people you initially run to aren't hearing you the way you need heard, go to someone else. There are very specific demons who oppress you during trauma by telling you that no one cares and who want you to shut yourself off from humanity. Why? Their main purpose is to get you so isolated that you eventually do something stupid like commit suicide, so that you can be the subject of the next traumatic event and therefore traumatize others. You are nothing but a domino in a never-ending game of dominoes to them, and you need to know that they are there and what they are up to.

Those voices in your head are not from God. Do not act like, "Well, I tried," and give up. There is always someone who will connect with you on the level you need. For me personally, some people seemed disinterested as I explained my dark emotions and told me that I needed to trust God more, not even 24 hours after the event! There were some who wanted to change the subject and start talking about themselves. There were even people who wanted to make it into a kind of joke! I'm the kind of person who wants everyone on my side and when people don't understand what I'm saying, I want to beat the proverbial "dead horse" until they empathize. I am so thankful that God taught me this lesson instead. He compelled me to keep going to other people and keep asking other people for prayer, and you know what? I really got what I needed far more than I could have otherwise. In fact, the people who listened far exceeded the number of those who didn't. God is in control, and God is all we need, but many times God knows that you need to get His love through other people. So to simplify my point: If the first people don't listen, look for others who will, and don't give up.

I do want to say that I don't fault any of these people. I'm actually pretty sure that I have reacted in all three mentioned ways more than once. This is what happens: Sometimes people who love you just aren't in the right head-space, just can't relate, or are going through their own trauma currently and just can't help you. It's not that they won't or don't want to. They just can't. I have learned that I need to give these people grace (especially since I have been the offender myself!) and not take their reactions personally. This is a big reason that you need to align yourself with God, because when you do, His Spirit actually indwells you and helps you to learn these lessons without the resentment that builds up without Him.

Another thing I learned is that PTSD is real. I mean, I knew it was real because of stories of military veterans, and women who have miscarried, but I never understood this stuff first-hand. Now I do. It's more than just irrational fear or paranoia. Irrational fear and paranoia occur when there is really nothing to fear. PTSD happens when worst fears have come true. It's more than just irrational fear or paranoia because those feelings can be reasoned with. You can talk yourself out of being scared over what has never happened simply because it hasn't happened. When worst fears come true, it's a lot harder to reason with those fears.

Another lesson I learned is that writing about the experience really helps. Last week, when I started this post I was still in pretty bad shape, but working on this post has really helped me organize my thoughts. Apparently, organizing thoughts is helpful when your thoughts are scattered to the wind. Who woulda thought?

And now I come to the final lesson and the main reason for this blog post. If something like this happens to you, you need to know that PTSD is more a physical reaction to trauma than psychological. It is basically the "Flight" side of "Fight or Flight" energy and it is just a normal human reaction. It becomes psychological when you start to buy into the demonic lies that no one understands, that you are weird, that you will never get over it, that trauma is going to keep happening and happening and you will never have a normal life ever again, etc.. It's weird to outsiders--especially ones that haven't experienced it or who have ignored it--because it looks like you aren't trusting God. It looks like you are weak and faithless when you are uneasy or scared or startled easily or spontaneously cry or can't sleep. You need to know that those symptoms have nothing to do with the strength of your faith. Totally nothing to do with it.

And I can prove it with the Bible. . .Jesus Christ, in fact.

God gave me the following verses:

Mark 14:32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them.“Stay here and keep watch.”

35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 “Abba,[f] Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,”he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour?38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

41 Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

So this is what stood out to me by that story: Death freaked Jesus out too. 

Let me explain.

If this had been any other man in this situation, how many of us would have criticized Him as "not trusting God enough"? I mean, look at Him. Even His own disciples had no idea how to take Him. This is the guy who proved to them that God could make them walk on water, that God could calm the storms, that God was capable of anything. And yet, here is the same Guy totally freaked out, "deeply distressed and troubled. . .to the point of death," who tells them to keep watch for a danger that has never happened before (talk about seeming paranoid!). He falls to the ground and starts moaning about God taking a cup from Him. Other gospels tell us that He was in such shock and stress that His sweat was like drops of blood! That doesn't seem like what "trusting God" should look like.

(One more point is that the above verses come from Mark, who as most scholars point out, is the least emotional or embellishing of the gospel writers, and even he records Jesus behaving in this extreme manner. That should tell you something. Jesus was totally freaked out. And that is probably an understatement.)

Yet. . .This IS Jesus we're talking about. Not only was He trusting God, He is God. 100%, in fact--to both points. So how could He have so much trust and still react with such seeming fear? I mean, think about it. He knew what was about to happen to Him (I guess we could call it PRE-Traumatic Stress Syndrome), and while all of His crucifixion was utterly horrendous, He knew what would happen right after that, right? He would be forever glorified at the right hand of God the Father! He would save humanity from hell! Then why was He so worried? Shouldn't he have just "taken it like a man,"  got it all over with, and just focused on the glory to come afterward?

How many times have you been given that kind of advice during trauma? Don't listen to it! It's not Biblical!

This is the logic that so many Christians have when it comes to other Christians going through trauma. "Let's get past it. Let's not dwell on the trauma. Let's move on. God has better things for us." And while that looks great on paper, and while we shouldn't make trauma and grief into a morbid life's focus, we MUST be aware that we not try to "Out-Jesus" Jesus! If Jesus reacted to death and suffering with such utter grief, and since we can say for sure that He--being perfect--wasn't over-reacting for attention, and since we know that His reaction was a totally justifiable one, we need to remember that death and trauma cause physical stress to our bodies that is outside the umbrella of "not trusting God." Jesus was fully human. Therefore, He was undergoing a fully human reaction to trauma. In other words, being freaked out by death does not equal distrust in God.

Furthermore, because Jesus reacted this way, we should probably realize that it's okay to react this way too. One purpose He came to earth was to undergo all human experience to now be glorified as our holy Example. That means that He had to undergo all human emotion, spiritual attack, physical trauma, and all other life experience so that we could learn from His example. What I mean is: Don't think that just because you have shut down your emotional reaction to trauma, that you are being strong. Strength is not ignoring or trying to move on too quickly from a situation. Remember, Jesus was the strongest man who has ever lived, and He was so traumatized by His impending crucifixion that He wanted to die before He got anywhere near the cross. Again, don't try to "Out-Jesus" Jesus. If you have experienced a tragic loss, you need to have as many people pray for you as you can, versus just ignoring it.

Now...In Jesus' situation, the disciples didn't come through as the prayer warriors they needed to be for Him. He had to rely totally on the other parts of the Trinity. Fortunately for us today, our Christian friends have the Holy Spirit to guide them, and even if they don't know how to pray for us, they just have to be willing and the Spirit does the work (Romans 8:26)! Even simple prayers like, "Lord,. . .uh. . .please be with her. . .?" have power when the Holy Spirit is involved!

Okay, I'm not exactly sure how to end this. I probably should have organized my thoughts even further, but I'm just going to publish this, because I've said all I need to say, I think. But I hope these thoughts encourage someone the way they encouraged me. 

Mark 1:12-13 - Satan Has No Clue

The Verses (NIV)

Mark 1:12 At once the Spirit sent him out into the wilderness, 13 and he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted[a] by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.


My Paraphrase

Immediately the Spirit sent Him to the wilderness for 40 days. He was tempted by Satan. He was among dangerous animals, but angels took care of Him.


My Thoughts

(In case you are wondering why I paraphrase the verse first, it just helps me to think more about the verse if I have to write it in my own words--even if it's pretty much the same thing.)


First of all, we see complete obedience to the Spirit's command. He is baptized and He immediately goes to the wilderness. No hesitation. He had a job to do, but the Spirit wanted Him to fast and pray first--before starting His ministry. So He obeyed. I bet a huge portion of us Christians have never even thought about fasting for answers to dilemmas in our lives. I know I barely ever do. It's hard not to eat. I have a huge prayer request right now where someone dear to me is making a huge life-long mistake, and reading this verse really convicts me about fasting about it. If we want God to mean business in answering our prayers, can we not just forgo a little bit of food every now and then to show that we are totally relying on Him?

We look at His situation--no food, no human contact, in a desert--going, "That sounds awful!" especially since, not only was he being tempted by Satan himself, but there were also a lot of wild animals that could attack at any second! It's like, this poor guy can't catch a break! But that's just the point. The Spirit calls us to be dangerous, not to be comfortable.  Jesus didn't feel sorry for Himself.  We can assume that He "counted it all joy" like James tells us to, because the Father--in the prior verse--just said He was well-pleased with Jesus. The actions Jesus took brought Him (and as a result, us) joy. 

I heard a great teaching once by Pastor Dennis McCallum explaining this temptation by Satan. We take for granted that Satan knew everything about Jesus, but Satan is actually extremely limited. For one thing, he isn't omniscient, so he doesn't know everything. If we look at the facts that Satan was privy to at the time, all he really knew was that this Guy was some kind of "higher David"--another of "God's men." With that in mind, the temptations themselves make a lot more sense. For instance, if Satan knew who Jesus really was, why would he have offered Him all the nations of the world? Jesus created every nation, for heaven's sake! All Satan knew was that he had successfully tempted past "God men" with fame and glory and had made them fall. If he could just now get the greatest of them to fall, what a delightful feather in his cap! 

However, Jesus passed all tests and came forth as gold, which: brought further glory to God (glory which, incidentally could not have been brought had Jesus not had temptation); salvation to us (It's not just Jesus' death that brought us life. Every test He passed proved His perfection and the newness of life he offered.); and total befuddlement to the enemy (Satan never saw it coming, and by "it" I mean the crucifixion bringing salvation.)!


I never noticed the part about the wild animals before.  According to my Archaeological Study Bible, back in the day, there were many wild animals in that part of the world (remember Sampson and the lion carcass?). I just never thought about how Jesus had so much to deal with out in the wilderness. However, in the midst of Satan and the wild animals, we see that God did send angels to take care of Him.  I wonder if they talked or if they were invisible as they are to us today. Either way, it's worth remembering that even in our darkest times, God still sends us His attending angels. We don't need to pray to them or anything like that (Speaking to anyone invisible--except for God--is a bad idea.)! Still, it is nice to know they are there. 

In another gospel, one of Satan's temptations was for Jesus to throw Himself off a building because Satan wondered if the angels would actually save Him. Obviously, they were there and they probably would have, but that would have been showing off and Jesus isn't a show off. It would also have been indulging Satan, and. . .for obvious reasons, Jesus wasn't going to do that! Lastly, it would have been testing God--expecting God to do a magic trick in the event of doing something stupid, potentially suicidal, and disobedient.

Mark 1:11 - Why Is Jesus the Only Way to Please God?

The Verse (NIV)

Mark 1:11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.

My Paraphrase

God's voice said, "You are my cherished Son. You bring me joy."

My Thoughts

While John was the only one who saw the "dove" situation, we can probably assume that everyone nearby heard the voice. I think this especially since the other gospels have God speaking in 3rd person ("This is my beloved Son..."). I mean, who else would need to hear it? Either way, God is very clear that Jesus is the One who is His Son and who makes Him "well-pleased." If we continue the idea that this scene is prophetic foreshadowing of Christ's death, burial, resurrection, and glorification it makes sense that God is well-pleased with Jesus after baptism. This eventually would represent God being so pleased in Christ that He gives Jesus a place of ultimate honor and authority in heaven--His right side. 

Furthermore, we can assume that in order to please God, we must follow Christ's example. This probably doesn't mean that we are all to be crucified, but what it does mean is that if God wants us to do something, we should follow as Jesus would, were He in our same situation. It is also important to remember that since God is holy, He cannot commune with sinners apart from those who have turned to Jesus. Since Jesus is the One who is God's only Son "whom I love," this same love is imparted to us only through the person of Jesus Christ. This is why I believe that the onlookers were able to hear this statement. Everyone needs to hear this: If we want the same favor with God, then we should follow The One whom God loves. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Mark 1:10 - The Holy Spirit's Descent

The Verse (NIV)

10 Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove.


My paraphrase

As soon as Jesus came up out of the water, John saw heaven ripped apart, and the Holy Spirit descended on Him gloriously and peacefully--as if He were a dove.


My thoughts

If you read my last post, you will see that I believe Christ's baptism wasn't just "an act of obedience and example for future believers," but it was mostly a prophetic foreshadowing of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection. That said, I believe this scene with the Holy Spirit coming on Him accomplished various things.

(1) I believe it was prophetic in that it showed what was to happen after Jesus left the earth. He would be glorified in heaven. I believe this scene was foreshadowing Christ's entire life, death, burial, resurrection, glorification--everything about His mission on earth and His standing in heaven.

(2) I believe the Holy Spirit was coming upon him at this moment was not only baptism with water, but also baptism of the Holy Spirit. That's pretty obvious, I think. Once He is Spirit-filled, He begins performing miracles. That's not to say He was limited before then, but I think this is the part where we as Christians are to follow in His example. We are called to the same Spirit-filled life.

(3) He purposely waits till this moment to begin undergoing His call as Messiah. For us, the need for baptism is called repentance--this newness of life--because we are sinners. For Christ, His "newness" was beginning His earthly ministry--because He is the perfect Christ.

(4) As He came up out of the water--and only after--the Holy Spirit came upon Him. I believe this is a picture of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit would descend on all those who dared to follow Jesus. Again, He pictures His death, burial, resurrection, glorification, but not only from His perspective. In this act, He also mirrors the timeline for Christianity: Christ would begin his ministry--get in the water; die for sins--immersion into the water; raise Himself from the dead and ascend to heaven--coming out of the water; and then the Holy Spirit would come upon those who follow Him--the dove-like descent.

(5) The fact that the Holy Spirit descends like a dove furthers the impact of humility. He didn't fall like fire from heaven. There were no earthquakes nor pomp and circumstance. The whole scene is just very peaceful and appropriate.

(6) John is the only one recorded as having seen this event which the Book of John explains was a specific sign from God to John the Baptist to point out who the Messiah would be. This sign had to happen for John the Baptist to "get it." It was a personal promise God made to him that God made good on.

(7) Heaven was ripped apart to allow the Holy Spirit to descend. I think this is also a prophetic picture of what would happen at Christ's death. Heaven was ripped apart in two ways: (a) God the Father had to turn His back on His Son. I'm sure that did some heavenly ripping. (b) But also--just like the veil to the Holy of Holies--the divide between human and divine was now bridged. Heaven was torn apart. . .in a really good way! 

I'm sure there are other ramifications and reasons for this scene, but those are the thoughts that struck me.

Mark 1: 7-8 John the Baptist: It's Okay to Be Different. . .Icky Feet. . .God's Certainty. . .and Baptism: Water vs. Holy Spirit

I was told by a friend that when I colored these three sections--verses, paraphrase, and thoughts--I had made them very straining on the eyes, so. . .in an effort to make my posts more readable, I am just going to make the three sections different fonts. Maybe one day, I'll get this system down!




The Verses:(NIV)

7 And this was his message: “After me comes the one more powerful than I, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. 8 I baptize you with[e] water, but he will baptize you with[f] the Holy Spirit.”

My paraphrase:

7 This was his gospel: "The Messiah is coming and He is far greater than I am. 
8 I can baptize you with only water, but His baptism is the Holy Spirit."


My thoughts:

This verse completes the whole strange picture (You can scroll down to the former entry if you are wondering what strange picture I'm talking about). So here's this guy. He's in the middle of the desert. If you want to go see him, you're gonna have to stop your regular life and leave your comfort zone--by the way, it's the desert. When you get there, you see he's dressed like Fred Flintstone and yelling at you to give up being selfish and turn to God. By the way, this God he keeps yelling about hasn't actually talked to your or anyone you know and the last recording of His human interaction was over 400 years ago. Then, this same guy urges you to believe in a promised Messiah that no one has seen since the beginning of time. 

Then, to top it all off, this weirdo dunks you in a nasty river!

It's just like God to draw people to His message in the last way you'd ever expect!

It does make me wonder, though, if John--mid-dunking someone--ever had a self-aware moment going, "Wait. . .What in the world am I doing?. . .And why am I dressed like this?" Obviously, the fact that Mark bothers to describe him--when he's not a detail-oriented writer--proves that John is a little different.

What this means to me: If God had a plan for John to be different, then it's okay if God gives me a different plan from everyone else's. Sometimes, I feel like the crowd of believers around me has been called to a certain task. Should I join them just because it is a good thing? What if I haven't been called to join them? What if I have been called to study the book of Mark a little every day, for instance? I should probably do what I've been called to do and not what I haven't--even if it's a good thing. This doesn't mean I should find a sense of superiority in my given task, and it doesn't mean that I can only do one task and shun the others. It just means that God wants us to be a body of believers (eyes, ears, arms, etc.) not cookie-cutters, and that's okay. If I am using my task as an excuse to get out of doing another task, that is also not right, obviously. That's not my point. My point is John was different, so I can be different, and I don't need to feel guilty about being different.


Part of Verse 7 again: "I'm not worthy to untie his sandals." 

Dealing with a master's feet was the lowest job of a servant, and for logical reason. Feet are dirty and disgusting. They were back then, and they still are today. (Yes, I'm probably a bit of a germophobe. . .However. . .) Your feet gather all kinds of germs--from sludge, to fecal matter, to disease--and the gathering is completely unavoidable as walking is our general mode of daily transportation. 

John describes here that even if he were to perform the lowest act of servanthood for Jesus--something only the lowest of the low was expected to perform--that he would consider this humble act as infinitely disrespectful due to the superiority and divinity of Christ. This is no small thought, and we really should stop and think about it rather than gloss over it. Think again about it, this is John the Baptist we're talking about. Jesus Himself said that John was the greatest prophet ever to have lived! Yet, John considered himself unworthy even to touch Jesus' feet. This is a humbling thought. If you don't feel humbled, then ask yourself: Has Jesus ever called me the greatest prophet ever to have lived? My guess is, no, since that superlative description has already been designated to John. Furthermore, it should be even more humbling to think about how later in His ministry, Jesus Himself deigned to wash His disciples' feet. What pure humility is that? Unfathomable.


Another John thought:

The fact that God used John to prepare the way for Jesus shows me two things: (1) John had to appear because he was fulfilling prophecy, and (2) God always prepares his people for messages they should hear. John was immediate preparation for God's people to be ready to hear from His Messiah. Jesus wasn't out-of-the-blue. His coming was calculated and well-groomed. God never leaves us high and dry--expecting us just to guess His plans. He told His people in Isaiah and Malachi that a prophet would come to prepare the way, and that's exactly what happened. This shows us that God loves us. We may not know everything, but we always get to know exactly what we need to know, and we get to know it at just the right time. 

Contrast this with the total uncertainty of literally ANY other faith, religion, or belief system.


Regarding verse 8 (The part about baptizing with water vs. the Holy Spirit): 

John makes the point that he baptizes with water, but Jesus will baptize with the Holy Spirit. I imagine this sounded very nice, but also very cryptic to the hearers. "Baptize with the Holy Spirit?" What could that have meant to them? Up to that point, the Holy Spirit was something outside of themselves. He was a Spirit that would indwell those chosen followers who seemed to be elite--think of David or Moses or even King Saul at times--(Although they really weren't elite at all. They were literally just people like you and me, but you know how the enemy will get in your head and tell you that God has "special people" and that you might not be one of them?) I'm not saying that the hearers did think this way, I'm just asking the question, "How could people have possibly understood this statement?" Obviously, they did understand what they needed, because look how many people John reached. "The entire countryside of Judea and the city of Jerusalem." Look how many people repented as a result of his "cryptic" preaching. 

This shows me that God is far more awesome than the credit we give Him. He says things that can make a certain type of sense to the hearers of the time, but then the same statements mean a totally different--or maybe just deeper--type of sense to hearers afterwards.

Anyways, of all human beings, John had, arguably, the most right to feel full of himself. He could look at himself and his ministry and pat himself on the back. But he didn't. John made the observation that while he could preach and reach many many people--in the end, all he was doing was merely just "water." Water is good. Water is symbolic. Water can clean. Water is necessary for life. Water is, like...what? 75% of our bodies or something. However (and therefore), water is human. 

"But," as John says, "Stay tuned! There is one coming who will fulfill and explain all the symbolism and tradition and mysterious messages in Scripture! There is one coming after me who will cleanse you in a way that no dirt, grime, or filth can ever defile again! There is one coming who will slake your thirst once and for all! He comes with the Holy Spirit, and this is real power. Yes, repentance is the first step, but when He comes, you are going to want to repent! The life He will bring you will be such that there will be no going back, nor the desire to go back to who you used to be! What He brings you is eternal. It is pure. It is true. It is far greater than anything I could ever give you. It is divine. It is God Himself."

The REAL Reason Marriage Is Sacred. . .That You've Probably Never Heard

I'm taking a little break from blogging my study through Mark to tell you about the best and most powerful explanation for the sanctity of marriage that I've ever heard.

A few months ago, I attended the Gateway Conference 2015 and Pastor Jimmy Evans gave this teaching. If you don't know Jimmy Evans, Google "Marriage Today." He and his wife started this ministry years ago, and so you'd expect him to have all the answers about marriage. However. . .

He explained that one morning, as he was getting ready for the day, God hit him with a question: "Jimmy, do you know the real meaning of marriage?" This was such a weird question to ask Jimmy--a man whose entire career has been teaching literally thousands of people about marriage--but Jimmy stopped and said, "Well. . .I thought I did, but. . .if You have to ask me, then. . .I'm guessing I don't?"

God then proceeded to show Him three pictures, for which I am so thankful. For the first time, marriage made clear and honest sense to me on a deep and sacred level. After hearing this teaching, my mind flooded with clarifications and ramifications, and I will try to summarize and explain them as well as I can for you now. (This is going to go deep, so please don't speed-read through it.)

The first picture was the Trinity: The Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit. When we think about the Trinity--although we cannot fully grasp how one Being can exist in three Persons--probably the greatest "take-away" we can gain is that the Trinity is the truest, purest manifestation of Love. . .ever. If we think about human love, the highest level of human love is "laying down life for friends." As humans, we can't get any more ultimate than that. Life is our most precious gift, so in giving that up, we cannot show anything greater when it comes to love. (Incidentally, this is why Jesus' death on our behalf should break our hearts.) 

However, the Trinity exists in a state of far greater love than human love. Why or how is this possible? Simply this: None of the Persons of the Trinity will EVER NEED to die for each other. Think about that. They are truly free to love with reckless abandon, knowing that this love will never be betrayed, second-guessed, nor unrequited. They love Each Other to such an extent we cannot fathom because, even in the purest of human relationships, betrayal and distrust are still within the realm of possibility. We may not want to think about this fact, but if we are honest with each other, we will admit that our love is very very dependent on how the "other person" behaves. The Trinity is not bound by any of that nonsense.

Okay. . .So the Trinity is the truest form of Love.

Second picture: Christ and the church. In Ephesians 5:22-32, Paul gives us a picture of how husbands and wives are to love each other. He explains that the attitudes of husbands and wives are to mirror the relationship between Jesus and the church. The picture of Jesus is what the man should pattern his love after--that he is willing to lay his life down for his wife, that he protects his wife, that he cares for her every need, etc. The picture of the church is what the woman should pattern her love after--that she allows the husband to lead, that she trusts the husband, that she accepts his love, etc. This shouldn't be a new concept to anyone who has read the Bible. So. . .moving on. Just keep in mind that "Christ and the Church" is simply a picture of what the marriage relationship should look like. Also, keep in mind that God is first in this relationship at all times--if either the husband or wife try to be "first" the whole thing falls out of balance. I Cor 11:12 says, "For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. (NIV)" Neither the man nor the woman actually has dominion over the other, but God has ultimate dominion since everything comes from Him.

Make sure to get this point from the second picture: There is a trinitarian balance between Christ and the church, because God is the one who gives the church to Christ (Eph 1:22). God is still in the picture. It's a trinity.

Now, here comes the third and final picture: Adam and Eve. If we look in Genesis, we find that God created man out of the dust of the ground, but then he created woman from Adam's rib, right? This is where Jimmy read this verse:

Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them."

So then he asked us the question, "Was man created in the image of God?" The congregation said, "Yes." Then he asked, "Was woman created in the image of God. . .or in the image of the church?" There was a little confusion, so he asked again, "Can we all agree that woman was also created in the image of God?" The congregation said, "Yes." I think this is a point that a lot of pastors miss or forget about. Woman was also created in the image of God. The "Christ and the church" thing is merely a relational pattern from which to learn. But woman was NOT created in the image of the church. Important to remember.

So then, this is where it really got interesting.

He read Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" Then he read the verses in John where Jesus tells the disciples that He would send His "Comforter" after He left the earth. Jimmy made the point that the words "helper" and "Comforter" are one and the same. . .Interesting.

So Jimmy asked again, "Do we believe that man and woman were both created in the image of God?"...."Yes."

He proceeded to explain the similarities between Jesus and man: Man was created first (Gen 1 & 2) and Jesus is referred to as the "first fruits" (I Cor. 15:20,23). Man is the head of the home just as Jesus is the head of the church (Eph 5:23). Man was held responsible for sin (I Cor. 15:21), just as Jesus is given responsibility over all humanity (John 6:37; 10:29). He asked, "Can we agree that man was created in the image of God, but more specifically in the image of Christ?"

Then he proceeded to explain the similarities between the Holy Spirit and woman. Woman was created second (I Cor. 11:8), just as the Holy Spirit came after Christ (Acts 1:8). The word "helper" in Genesis 2:18 and "Comforter" in John 14:16,26 is the same word. In a healthy marriage, the wife carries out the plans of the partnership (Proverbs 31), just as the Holy Spirit carries out God's will in our lives (John 14:26; I Jn. 2:27). Then he asked, "Can we agree that woman was created in the image of God, but more specifically in the image of the Holy Spirit?"

Now. . .BE CAREFUL. If you disagree with this, make sure you aren't assuming what isn't being said. This DOESN'T mean that the Holy Spirit is feminine. Technically, God isn't either gender because He is a Spirit (John 4:24). He is called "Father" so we can relate to Him personally, but He is not technically a "He" at all. . .But God also isn't a "She." And also. . .if you want to go there, God isn't an "It" either. Remember Genesis 1:27 above? "Male and female He created them." God created gender. God doesn't have a gender.

Secondly, this isn't perpetuating some non-Biblical nonsense about "God the Mother" or goddess beliefs. Again, God transcends gender. He created gender for reproduction of humanity and for a way that humans could experience romantic love. Speaking of this love, we are now coming full-circle.

In all of these pictures, you will see that there is a trinity of sorts. In the Trinity Himself, in "Christ and the church" with God also present, and also in the creation of man and woman as the images of God: If man is in the image of Jesus and woman is in the image of the Holy Spirit, then the Father must be present. 

I have always been taught that God has to be present in our marriages, but I had never before thought of why. I have seen Republican politicians and equally militant conservative pastors fiercely debate talking-heads and furiously pound pulpits for the "sanctity of marriage," but whenever it came down to it, all they could say is that "Only a man and woman!. . .It's Adam and Eve! Not Adam and STEVE!" But no one really said why. With this trinitarian picture of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I can clearly understand why marriage must (1) include God, (2) be between a man and a woman, and (3) be considered sacred. 

This picture is so powerful because it clearly opens our eyes as to why the following situations are wrong:

POLYGAMY: You can't have more than two humans in a true marriage, because even if God didn't explicitly say "Don't take more than one wife/husband," in a polygamous situation, God inevitably would make the fourth. . .or fifth. . .or sixth, etc. entity. Not a trinity.

THREESOME: Similar to polygamy. A threesome is a totally human, mortal, fallible trinity; not a blessed one. In order to be blessed, one of the people would have to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and holy as God is. That's a tall order for any of us sinners!

BESTIALITY (or like one of those situations where some crazy lady wants to marry a building.): Animals (and buildings) are not created in God's image, so therefore cannot represent Christ or the Holy Spirit.

INCEST: Jesus and the Holy Spirit, while part of the same God-head, are somehow also completely separate entities and are not blood-related. (Technically, neither are the Father and Son. The terms "Father" and "Son" are purely relational terms for us, to help us understand what God the Father and God the Son are like, but. . .again, God is a Spirit. Jesus didn't come from the Father. He was with the Father from the beginning of time [Jn 1:1].)

FORNICATION AND ADULTERY: The Trinity is the picture of pure, committed love. Neither fornication nor adultery show commitment.

HOMOSEXUALITY: You can't have a Trinity with two Holy Spirits. Nor can you have a Trinity with two Jesuses. However, Christians, listen up! This picture also voids all the hateful "because it's gross and unnatural" answers perpetuated by ignorant Christians. "Gross and unnatural" are opinion-generated words. Opinion is always weaker and more emotionally triggering than fact. The fact is, marriage is the image of the Trinity because man and woman are created in God's image--with God as the Father of the union.

UNBELIEVING HETEROSEXUALITY (Don't miss this!): Even if a man and a woman get married, the marriage is NOT a true marriage if God isn't Father over it. If a marriage is only between the image of Jesus and the image of the Holy Spirit, the trinity is not complete. This also counts if only one person is an unbeliever. Unless both parties believe, God will not be Father over the union. THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T STILL BINDING! All marriages count and are binding in God's eyes because God is everywhere and holds us accountable for all promises we make (Matt. 5:33-37; James 5:7-12), whether we are believers or non-believers. However, a marriage between ONLY a man and a woman--with God missing--will not be blessed because it has no trinitarian power. 

Don't miss this point: An unbelieving marriage is binding; but not blessed! (Allowances for divorce: Matt 5:32; 19:9; I Cor. 7:15, don't make divorce any easier and shouldn't be taken as loopholes for making a stupid marriage decision. If blessing is the goal, make blessed choices.)

[Side point: This concept makes passages come alive like II Cor 6:14 - "14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. . .(NIV)" The passages continues in verse 16 to say, "I will live with them and walk among them. . ." God wants your marriage to be a trinity with Himself at the forefront. . .Or  Psalm 127:1a, "Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: (KJV)". . .Why are the workers laboring in vain if God isn't there to build the house? Because there is no trinity without God there.]

CHRISTIAN HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE FAILURES (Read with humility): What about those Christian marriages that end in divorce? If both people are Christian, their marriage should last, right? No. And this is a big manifestation to the point that Christianity is NOT a religion. If Christianity were a religion, than going through the motions and traditions of marriage should be enough for marriage to last. Instead, Christianity is rather a faith-based relationship. Hear this: ALL MARRIAGES WILL FALL APART IF GOD IS NOT FIRST. That means, even in Christian marriages, when a husband or wife becomes selfish, the trinity is dissolved. When a husband or wife wanders, becomes addicted to porn, or takes another lover, the trinity is dissolved. When a husband or wife loses respect for the other, the trinity is dissolved. This is why marriages should be bathed in prayer. God is part of your marriage. If you ignore Him, your marriage will fall apart. If you trust Him and put Him first, you will stay married and you will gain a deeper respect and love for your partner every day.

Think about it. I hope other verses pop into your mind in a whole new way, now that you have read this. I hope this opens your eyes as much as it did mine. When I heard these three pictures, I thought, "Now why don't more pastors preach this? This answers every question about marriage that I've ever had!!" Hopefully, more people will realize this perspective and we can have deeper, fuller marriages than ever before.

Anyway, I believe marriage should be between a man, a woman, and God.

. . .and now you know why I believe it (I Peter 3:15).



One final thought: Do I believe that man is created in only the image of Jesus, and woman only the image of the Holy Spirit? No. I believe that humankind's stamp of the Creator goes far deeper than we can imagine or know in this life. However, for the purpose of marriage, a trinitarian concept gives me deeper insight into interpreting marriage-related verses in the Bible and helps me understand the relationships I encounter in day-to-day life.