Don't Pray to People

I just realized the other day: We are commanded in the Bible to have faith in God.

We are never commanded to have faith in people.

While this may seem elementary . . . it must be a hard concept to grasp because everyone suffers from it every day. I know I do . . . or I just now realized that I do it. Let me explain.

I've been praying to people for entirely too long.

A few years ago, I had a friend. He was a best friend. I could tell him anything and he would listen to everything. He could tell me anything and I would listen to him. And we talked about everything. It was amazing. I've never had a relationship like that ever before or ever since. It was one of those things that you dream about, and then there it is, and you can't believe that this person actually exists. Then stuff happened that I'm still unsure about. We started fighting and I don't even know why. We'd fought before but we always ended up resolving everything. That was the beauty of this relationship: No matter how mean either of us got, the other one would finally forgive, and we would make amends.

I don't even remember what that last fight was about. All I can remember is that I was sure we'd get through it, because we'd gotten through bigger fights before. Well, apparently I was wrong, and we've never been as close since then. I've tried asking him about it, and my asking always makes him mad for some reason, so I don't anymore. I really miss him though. Really. Especially when it comes to topics that I know only he would appreciate. Not everyone gets my sense of humor all the time, and . . . well, it bugs me a ton--even more now, because now this guy pretends he doesn't get my jokes half the time. We're still friends, but it's like friends who visit each other in jail. You have to choose your words or you set the alarms off.

So anyway, I've just tried to fill up my time with other activities. And don't get me wrong, I have great and wonderful friends who I love dearly . . . It's just weird not to have that uncanny otherworldly closeness with a person. It's so weird to have him at a distance mentally when we used to be almost completely connected. It's like if you lived in a mansion and then for no reason you have to go back to your studio apartment. I guess the feeling is betrayal, but I'm not sure if he or I am to blame. Probably me, because I'm the one who asks about what went wrong, and I am the one who gets denied.

I try not to dwell on this situation because obsession just turns into insanity, you know? Anyways, I bring all this up because of events of late.

Anyways, I've felt a similar--yet to a lesser degree--feeling with two other friends of mine. I've never felt like this since high school. Where people just take their friendship with you down a few notches for no discernible reason.

Then it hit me. The number one frustration that we have with each other is that we want to be able to pray to one another. I want to put faith in this guy because I want him to be available for me when he isn't anymore. I want my friends to treat me the way I want to be treated regardless of the fact that I'm sure I treat other people exactly this same way. I want to be loved in spite of myself.

Well, those desires of mine are physically impossible for a human to fix. That's because God is the only one who can do that stuff. Not that it's wrong to talk to people about stuff that bugs you, but . . . you know that feeling when you have a real issue (or at least it's real to you) and you can just see the glaze over the other person's eyes? For me, I hate wasting words. I talk only when I think I'm being heard, and when I find I'm not, I become livid. This is a problem for me because I hate to annoy people, but I really want people to listen to me whenever I speak.

So what should I do? I should speak to God. I'm not going to annoy Him, because He is Joy. He's going to want to listen to me, because His Word tells me constantly to talk to Him. He's not going to judge me based on my opinions, because He is Truth and free from opinion. And what is just awesome is that when I pray, He draws me closer to Him. At the end of prayer, I just feel like praising Him indefinitely. I guess that's really what "heaven on earth" means: The more I pray, the more I can't wait until I CAN praise Him indefinitely. I don't get that from human beings, nor should I.

I should pray to God and give human beings a break.